Dear guy who shows up every year to the Christmas Party with a box of half-drunk brewski & an opened bag of day-old pretzels – Yes you. I have a holiday message for you & it goes something like this… Your act is tired.
Your holiday struggles have been wearing on me for some time now… last year more than ever. This ba-hum-bug culinary spirit during Christmas is less than acceptable, requires immediate reassessment & a full-course tune up.
In advance of our upcoming Christmas gathering, please accept my most (in)sincere apologies for laying it out to play it out under such social of circumstances.
Seriously though. Enough is enough.
College was fun. I recollect really enjoying that time in my life as well. But, broski?! Really? Let’s just call a spade a spade… your career @ Lambda Lambda Lambda has long past. Surely, there’s a time & place for continuing to roll deep with your hommies in brews, booze & chip dip, but Holiday season was never that time, nor will it ever be that time. Ever.
Not in a box. Not with a fox. Not in a house. Not with a mouse. Not here, there, or anywhere. Ever.
So, as a general guideline, at any juncture following reading this post… if the next holiday party you attend requires, at minimum, guests to adorn themselves in clothing – know it’s not OK to stroll into this hypothetical social environment toting an 18 of Bush Light & bag of salty sourdough twists.
11.5 out of every 10 adults agree this behavior = Poor form.
You’ve gotta know it. Everyone else knows it. I’m just saying it. If you didn’t know it – Sorry I had to be the dude to break news.
Beer/Pretzel Guy: “Hold on there & wait a gol-darn second, Mr. Bachelor! Let me just say… Thank you, sir! I’ve been slacking for years & can’t recall the last time I carried my weight at the Holiday Pot-luck. I appreciate you allocating a moment to setting my act straight. But, what possibly could I do to get my game on-point for family, friends & those I love the most?!”
Me: “First, your admission of this buffoonery is a big step in the right direction. I’m proud of you. Slightly. Second, follow the direction offered in this glorious recipe… Step by mouth-watering Step.
Beer/Pretzel Guy: “So, you’re telling me that all I have to do is click the video link below, sit back, relax, & watch as 3 amazing Holiday recipes unfold before my very eyes… All while enjoying light-hearted, humorous banter & views of your trendy, un-tucked shirt with rolled up sleeves?!”
Me: “Yup. Like magic.”
Beer/Pretzel Guy: “I no longer desire to carry the eternal shame of every Holiday party I attend – with my watered-down beer cans untapped & day-old nachos sans a single bite taken.
I shall watch your video & make all 3 delicious recipes.
I shall read, follow & share your blog with my social network.
I shall join the rest of this big boy / big girl holiday world you speak of.”
Me: “Well, lets just say, I’m just glad we’re on the same page. Now… have a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year, my enlightened Friend! Stay hungry. Be blessed. And, above all, I better not catch you trying to kick it old school again. My tone may not carry the same gentle undertones in round number two!”
OK… enough of the shameless banter back & forth with myself.
As one of three new recipes featured this morning on ABC TV – A Bachelor & His Grill‘s, “Roasted Maple-Ginger Pork Tenderloin” may be my favorite! In effort to just cut the chase… This recipe is simplistic in preparation & execution, yet conceptually sophisticated in texture, flavor, & presentation – a downright hedonistic experience!
This tender cut of pork is tied-off in kitchen string to ensure even cooking throughout, then marinated overnight in a sweet & spicy marinade of fresh ginger, maple, cinnamon & a host of bold wintery seasonings. After integrating the essence of Heaven into this swine, the tenderloin is pan seared creating a golden-encrusted exterior, then roasted to succulent perfection & served with a garnish of gorgeous mint sprigs, pomegranate seeds & a large glass (or 2) of cabernet sauvignon.
Sounds simple enough, right?! Well. It’s just about that simple! So… cork that bottle of wine, tie up that pork & let’s get started!
- 2 pounds pork roast, boneless
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 2 anise pods
- ⅓ cup all-natural maple syrup
- ¼ light brown sugar
- 2½ teaspoons freshly grated ginger
- ½ teaspoon cinnamon
- ¼ teaspoon cayenne, or to taste
- olive oil
- kosher salt & fresh ground peppercorn, to taste
- garnish: pomegranate seeds (or red currant berries) & mint leaves
- In large plastic bag combine all ingredients, except garnish, & marinate 4-12hrs.
- Pre-heat oven to 350F.
- Remove pork from refrigerator & rest 20minutes returning near room temperature.
- Wrap pork firmly with kitchen string to ensure uniform shape & even cooking.
- In saute pan over high heat, drizzle 1 tablespoon olive oil, then evenly sear exterior of pork on all sides until golden crust forms across surface.
- Place tenderloin in roasting dish, fat-side up & cook uncovered in oven 35-40 minutes, basting intermittently, or until internal temp reaches 140F.
- Remove from oven & place over cutting board to rest for 10minutes.
- Cut & remove kitchen string, slice pork against grain, season additionally to taste, garnish & serve.