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In consideration to the holistic context of this website, there’s not really a gentle, socially appropriate means to providing lead-in for a post that’s entitled, “Pornography & Food Blogging.” So, in all due respect to the following content, I’ll save the sweet talk & just get right down to business. Oh… and, although my resources are relatively limited to offering mood lighting in the room you’re seated, I can surely set the tone by laying down musical magic in the form of Mr. Barry White’s classic – “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe.” Enjoy.
Now… Let’s get it on.
Over the last 6-9 months, traffic on the page has been picking up drastically. Although consistent throughout the course of the week, of interest (from my perspective) is that viewership has been appearing to jump incrementally during the wee evening hours of both Friday & Saturdays. At a superficial level I’m surely appreciative of this growth, in addition to all who have continued to check in weekly for new recipes & catch up on a dose of random ramblings (ie. this post).
Being the inquisitive chap that I am & intrigued by this time-sensitive anomaly – I opened an investigation.
My initial thoughts: West Coast Time Zone linking back to the day’s happenings, international traffic, East Coast night owls with the munchies, etc., etc. You know… all the usual suspects.
Well, after a minor investment of time & cursory amount of research into analytic data, each initial lead ran it’s course – all suspects were found with alibi & innocent of driving the evening how traffic boost. Then, a break in the case. After several failed attempts over the last few weeks @ identifying the culprit, it turns that the Devil was in details.
The traffic bump originates with a chicken recipe. The beloved name of this chicken recipe is, “Sex on a Grill.”
Credit to this recipe – it is all kinds of sexy + crazy delicious! Stuffed with wild mushroom, roasted garlic, sauteed vidalia onions, creamy goat cheese & fresh herbs. Then, bacon-wrapped, coarsely seasoned & grilled to smoky, tender perfection. The undisputed Creme de la Creme of grilled chicken recipes!
OK. You get the idea. But, just in case you do not get the idea, lay your sweet gaze upon this savory slice of Heaven (click on photo for recipe).
That said… Although one of my very favorite recipes (and based upon your feedback in emails / messages regarding the recipe – it’s a confirmed blue-ribon, backyard bbq winner), the question remains: Why are the web hits on this specific recipe blowing up in wee hours of the evening?!
Well, in turning to all-knowing / all-seeing Google Analytics, I’ve identified that 1 of the top searches that lead to my blog turns out to be, “Sex + Grill”.
Yes. You read that accurately. SEX + GRILL.
At first I was a touch flattered… But, then REALITY struck. It was NOT my natural sense of boyhood charm, sharp-witted writing & down-home sexy good looks that appeared to be drawing the fan following.
Fact: When “Sex + Grill” is entered into the search function of an internet browser, Google, Bing, etc., the very first result provided is the link to my grilled chicken recipe, “Sex on a Grill.”
So…
QUESTION: Who the hell in crazy town is searching for SEX + GRILL (and, doing so at a volume that would drive my link to NUMBER ONE on Google)?!
ANSWER: Porn Surfers who are yet to be hooked on phonics!
To make sure there is no misunderstanding, I’ll spell this one out.
The wee hour traffic to my blog is in portion being driven en mass by grammatically-challenged, sexually frustrated, horn-ball, porn-surfing, single dudes who are actually attempting to search for “Sex + GIRL.”
GIRL… as in female of the human species. NOT, Grill… as in stainless-steel, fire-breathing, tenderloin-searing, outdoor cooking appliance.
Conclusion: Due to the well-honed keyboard wizardry of these worldly & well-educated, sexually-energized gentlemen – INSTEAD of uncovering an online treasure trove of naked ladies… they are being directed by Google to the enthralling world of my online recipe blog & bacon-wrapped grilled chicken recipe.
I find this kind of hilarious. Actually… I’m LMBO! This is ten kinds of crazy hilarious.
So my dear Watson… Case closed. This mystery has been SOLVED.
Me – One. Porn Dudes – Zero.
Stay hungry, fellas.
