Are you a professional email spammer of blogs like mine? If yes, know that there’s a special place, not in Heaven, reserved just for you. And, until you arrive in that place, I hope you walk life’s path, barefoot over a billion broken Lego’s.
That said, the WINNER this week for best spam attempt is “Catherine” from China! Congratulations from one side of the Pacific to the other, “Catherine!” C’mon down & accept your new-found public attention via this post, as your well-earned reward!
“Cathrine,” among the many horrid grammatical & composition-based issues with your email, I’ll note 3 of my favorite (I’m sure you Grammar-Police out there can identify your own Top3):
1. “Catherine,” You’ve addressed the letter to both potential gender targets – Makes sense. I guess there’s not a 3rd option?? And, why limit yourself to a 50% rate of success in spamming? Short-changing yourself is just bad form.
2. “Catherine,” Did I miss my own public relations announcement regarding my splash into the fiscally bull markets of peanut & rapeseed oil? If yes, maybe I’d have a degree of remorse regarding this post. Or not.
3. “Catherine,” I appreciate your Salutations & Valediction in back-to-back sentences, leading your letter. Understandable that you’d both say hello & goodbye prior to delivering the content of your message, as you can never over-express an abundance of confidence in how far one will read through a 2 sentence email. Not to mention – thank you for your whole-hearted cordial nature, while simultaneously attempting to lie, cheat, swindle & steal.
OK, “Catherine” – As FYI. I’m going to offer you a bonus – I’m not blocking your email address from future contact. Actually, your shitty, 17 comma / 2 sentence, train-wreck emails actually crack me up. Thanks for the laugh. Looking forward to your next best effort.